There we have it, the end of 2004. New Year's Day has gone as soon as it came. Whew...time really does not wait for anyone does it? Guess I'd better do the obligatory "New Year's Resolution" before it's February! All the resolutions I have made in the years before have never really came true. So this year my being another year older (and wiser), I will make one that simply cannot fail.

This year will be one of discovery for me. As everyone who reads this as my witness, I will try my darnest best to be the person that I have always wanted to be. Life (and the ol biological clock) is almost catching up and there is nothing worse than looking back at your life thinking of what could have been.

Since the teenage years, I have always wanted to live " a life less ordinary." Perhaps we all do...or did at one point. Whatever that means, I do not know. It will of course mean different things to different people. This past weekend, I had a friend visiting from Thailand. He is currently working with the United Nations under the World Food Programme. This was somewhat a boost of morale as it goes to show that nothing is impossible.

Perhaps my greatest enemy now is fear. Fear of not having the things that other people have. Fear of wasting time. Fear of not being able to get a good job. Fear of having life past me by as I go ahead to indulge in watever my heart desires. Fear of waking up one day saying to myself, "had a chance of a normal life...but i screwed it up..now its too late!!"

When did life get to be so restrictive? We are supposed to want and have certain things at a certain age. Go to school...university...get a job...get a better job...and a better one...get married...get a house...have children...start planning for your own retirement. Bitching about this will not make any difference, I know. Eventually that will be what it comes down to....or does it have to be?