This evening, I went to meet a friend of mine whom I have not seen for at least 4 years. He has changed into a more confident person after living in a hostile country for a few years. So tired right now but there is just something that needs to be taken off my chest before heading for bed. Waking up tomorrow morning and feeling better will sweep this issue under the carpet so to speak. It's now or never.
It feels weird for me to be the vulnerable one. All through life, don't think many situations has forced me to be on the receiving end of sympathy. These days, I find myself more and more on this side of the fence. Let me tell you, it's no fun. In fact, it sucks.
People have been telling me that I am taking the break up pretty well. That I have gotten over everything. Truth is, I'm not so sure. These days I dont ever think about any of the good times we had. I can't let myself. It would be too much. Instead I force myself to think about the bad. All in all, I know that breaking up was the right thing and it has set me free in so many ways. Finally have my life back, actually.
But...I truly hate the weak person this has made me. Dont think I have ever felt this vulnerable in my entire life. Over and over again, meeting old friends has been proven to be so difficult. Don't think my friends have seen me like this before. This is somewhat out of character for me.
Let me apologize for being incoherent. The reason for this is simple. My mind is messed up right about now...and since im writing straight from my mind...the confusion is being relayed directly to my typing fingers. Am so tired, right smack in the middle of what I think is PMS so...pls excuse my pitiful self-pitying outlook on life.
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