Dear Person,

I have come to realize that the ending will never be as I imagine. The situation does not bend to my wishes but rather I must give in to it. Why did you do the things you do? I will never understand, but isn't that the very essense of the human mind? Not knowing? It is similar to pondering the meaning of life. We can talk the issue to death yet at the end of the day, everyone leaves with their own interpretation. There is no harm in questioning, as long as we understand and make peace with the concept of there never being a clear-cut answer. It is with this frame of mind that I am choosing to move on. Once you are out of my life, you will be forgotten. As far as I am concerned, you no longer exist.

Even if we did manage to talk about the massacre, I will still be dissatisfied. For this, let us borrow an analogy from consumerism. Remember a time when you told yourself that if only you could buy this particular item, you will be so satisfied that you won't ever crave to buy anything else again? Well to put your mind at ease, you go out and buy this thing. No sooner than when you get home, you realize that there is already something else you want. This is the curse of mankind.

I remember a time when I spent a week on an island in Malaysia, feeling so content that I had wanted nothing more at the moment. A good book, good friends, food, snorkles, fins and nothing more.

But then again, perhaps Ash was right. We do look back into the past with gentler eyes. Now is always the worst. Even back then though, at the island...I knew what not-wanting-more meant. Just being there was enough.

It is my dream to one day own a chain of hotels by the sea. Now THAT would be something to look forward to.