Christmas finds me listless. Didn't sleep the whole of last night. Slept about a few hours early this morning. We stayed up talking all night, as we often do. Did. But what do you want from me? That I not feel anything?

Perhaps we often do believe what we want to believe. Despite all the evidence of the contrary. But in my defense, I am just a girl. You say we're too different, yet I see nothing but our commonalities. You say you're not ready, perhaps you don't want to be. You say you're lonely and for the life of me, I cannot understand why. You don't have to be.

You don't understand why I cannot leave good enough alone, why would you want to? Anything that was worth anything in life never came easy. Is it friendship you want? Perhaps not even. So what is it, I do not understand. You obviously want something, but I don't know what. You tell me to be straight forward, yet you never are.

In all your self-righteousness about being open to all kinds of different things, when it comes down to it, you chose the familiar and the easy.

I do not hate you. At this point it feels as though, I have been the silly one. But I've been a fool for lesser things. So, big deal.