Naturally after an obsessive book buying binge (wait a minute, that doesn't make sense...) I have to actually read the spoils of my conquest! It was a tough call but when it came to crunch time a certain Dr. Irvin Yalom, phd & master psychotherapist, piqued my curiosity.
Standing in an indistinct isle at Chapter's one day, I found myself reading this line. "I do not like to work with patients who are in love."
Sold! Tell me more.
The story tells of an elderly woman who has obsessed about a love affair 8 years past. Thelma simply has not been able to let go, thus finding herself living a life of illusion and fantasy. Sounds familliar? OMG! Thelma is me, I am Thelma. Although my predicament has yet to reach such an advanced state, it was definitely a situation I can identify with.
About a quarter way into the story Yalom got frustrated with Thelma's refusal to take responsibility for her own actions. Why did she give him so much power over her life? The very same question I've been known to ask myself. Having said that, I've decided to sign myself up for therapy after this next trip. Not because I've lost hope or that I've reached my wits end, on the contrary.
While I am rather stuck and chasing my own tail on this issue, there is hope that somehow, someway the peace that is currently eluding me shall return. If I am to become anything of a therapist, might as well make a habit of it. What good is a helper if she cannot differentiate between her own issues and that of the client?
Reading the great masters at work is truly inspirational. The other one that's next on my list is Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication. It reads more like a textbook as opposed to Yalom's storytelling. Oh, and after that I'm reading Eric Fromm's Art of Loving.
I miss counselling.
Funny how a sense of guilt arose as I was saying that. Sometimes I wonder if counselling does more for me than for others. It just feels so damn good to be able to connect with people's deepest emotions. Strip away all the pretense, the masks, the defense mechanisms and we are all essentially the same. Human beings doing the best that we can to love and be loved. To live...
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