Counselling Day 02

Was not looking forward to counselling today. It just doesn't make sense to walk into there feeling good. But alas being the professional that he is, almost made me cry today. We talked about many things, but the issue he brought up over and over again was one relating to animals. Perhaps his point was that being humans, we have the tendency to think too much and worry about the past and the future.

He also tried in earnest to explain the difference between having a thought and reality. A thought being an action which could or could not match reality. But a thought is just a thought. So basically we think too much. We have all sorts of thoughts in our heads but these thoughts are just in our heads. I do not know why he tried so hard to explain this to me. Perhaps that I am a psyc major and he figured I might be interested. It was a tough concept to grasp and I am glad he tried explaining it to me. He must have thought I would understand, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered. Err...he was also going to send me a journal article on the research that's being done in this subject area.

One thing good is that he said I was not hiding. Exposure to the source of the strong emotions is good. We must feel our fears and emotions as they come and recognize that they will go. Otherwise our entire lives will be lived in fear. He also brought up an anecdote about a dog learning to stay away from a bigger dog...long story.

All in all, it was a good session. I managed to get an extension for the term paper. One thing I found a bit annoying about counselling though is that, you can never say something for the sake of saying something. Everything you say has a meaning behind it. Like even if you make a joke, there has to be something about the joke that reflects your true thoughts. Therefore, one would have to be careful. Another thing was that I knew he was reading my body language the whole time. This is not an amateur we are talking about. This guy has a PhD and is the head of the counselling department. He could very well be one of my profs. In fact, a friend had attended a course in which he was a guest speaker. So there I was, up against the best of the best. Trying to alter my posture and gestures to make me seem more attentive. It was quite interesting. Fun too. I enjoy these sessions.

He had offered to see me again before I leave for Vancouver. Don't know whether this is a good thing or not. On one hand, he might be thinking that I needed more help and on the other perhaps he was just concerned and would like to know how things went. The dumper (to be known as Jay from here on) has agreed to a meeting sometime in the near future. He suggested dinner but I think perhaps coffee might be a better idea. And that we get coffee and go for a walk, rather than sitting at a coffee place. Really do not want to get all teary eyed at a coffee place.

Difficult as this will be, it has to be done. Once and for all.