Friday, October 21, 2005

Sleepy Nothingness (take 507)

3.30am -- awake again

God, how I hate being wide awake at this hour. Nothing good ever comes out of it. Ahem. That is actually not true.

Been listening to Soul Asylum all night. That one song in particular. The reason it appeals so much to me right now is because it's time to realize that nobody out there can/will help me. Everyone is overloaded with their own issues. At best, you will find someone who will listen to the troubles on your mind. Expecting a situation or person to save you and your mortal soul is a lost cause right from the very beginning.

It was one of those situations where the simplicity of the message just blows you away. Like a light slap on the face that does not hurt but just was.

Life is perhaps nothing but a huge void. A gaping hole which we will spend our entire lives trying to plug. We get ideas as to how it could be done. Career, love, friends, family...in no particular order. Then off we go on our quest. Actually it cannot even be deemed a quest. That would suggest it is something we set out to do. I'm seeing us more as victims who are helpless to do anything but keep trying to patch up the void. Sometimes we do such a good job of it that no light can shine through, at other times every blow of the wind through the hole threatens to collapse the entire structure.

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