AJ's Story

AJ is not her real name, but I'm sure you'll sympathize with the need for privacy.

About 3 months ago, AJ met this guy. At a bar. A friend challenged her to get a phone number from any guy that night. This was all in the name of fun. Little did she know, this guy she just said hi to was about to give her the best 2 months of her life.

She fell hard and fast for this smooth talker. Evertime we would go out she'd have this huge ass grin on her face. We cannot get through dinner without him calling or sending her text messages. She was utterly and completely in love with this guy. No doubts whatsoever.

Then came month #3. Over the Christmas holidays, things have gotten sour. A few days after coming back to Van, AJ called. Our friendship being a new one, this was the first time I had heard her sounding so distressed. She could not get the words out in a coherent manner. I was surprised.

The man had changed overnight. We do not know why or how. He said he was afraid of commitment. That he did not want to hurt her feelings. This sounded so familliar to me that it was almost funny. In a twisted kinda way. The hurt in her voice could not be hidden. She also talked about getting more and more jaded with every ending of a relationship.

I understand her. There is a risk in liking someone. And an even greater one in letting your feelings be known. Why is it that people have to get hurt all the time? Expectations, perhaps?

While working at Cap 2 months back, I remember this elderly native guy coming up to me. Long white hair, traditional outfit and all. He asked if i was seeing somebody and I said no. He then smiled and said that I needed a man in my life. That my life would not be complete otherwise.

Being a pseudo-feminist, I smiled a little smile that said I did not agree with him. Ever since that day, whenever I think back on that incident, it almost feels like he had placed a curse on me. But heck, there comes a time in every girl's life where she has to hang up her dancing shoes. At least for a little while. At least for me. If there even was a heart left to be broken, I'd find a way to break it.

Going back to AJ... does it not make sense then to hold out until you're absolutely sure of someone? Instead of trying on different partners and getting even more jaded for it?