Ana the (Isolated) Intern?

Is it that time of the month again? Sure feels like it.

Why am I not returning phone calls? Why am I not making an effort to go hangout with friends? Why is my bedroom door closed - a sure sign that I want to be left alone. These are signs/ pre-requisite before I hit a low. All of a sudden there is a lack of connection with others. And perhaps some apathy as well. What is going on?

Some possible reasons:

1) Lack of sleep and stress
2) Don't think I did well on the interview
3) Avoidance of road test/ oil change/ fixing of my car
4) Inability to relax

5) Related to #2 ---> If I do get the internship, we're talking about another possible move within the next 2 months.

Oh, btw I got an interview for the internship that I was talking about 2 weeks ago! Yesterday they called for a phone interview and I'm not sure how well that went. Did my best though. So now I have to wait for one month before knowing what's gonna happen. Gosh this is so stressful.

If I do get it, it will be such a huge step. Not to mention putting a dent in my plans for the next year. Everything is going to change. I'm going to have to move back to Malaysia for a bit. Am I really prepared to do this? Anxiety from the unknown.

Thinking about possibly going back to Malaysia in a few months is exciting, yet if I do not get it...the disappointment will be huge. So in other words, I'm damned if I do get it, I'm damned if I don't. Now I have one entire month to dread the possibilities...

A feeling of nausea is taking up permanent residence in my stomach...