Let the cycle commence...again...

Small problem. I'm stuck again.

Here's a story about a boy. Girl chats with boy online, girl falls for boy online, boy leaves the country. Boy stupidly does not realize that he likes girl. Or perhaps girl is just into wishful thinking...

Anywho, girl then tried to forget boy and kinda, partially does so successfully. Then after awhile girl lets her guard down and boy starts chatting with girl again and of course, girl allows it..just for fun. Chatting, chatting, chatting...then girl realizes she's becoming attached to boy again and boy still stupidly denies the attraction. Then girl leaves and tried to forget boy AGAIN.

This scene multiplied by 5-6 times, yeah now you're caught up.

So then this is the part where I've gotten myself attached again. Feeling stupid things that I "should" not be feeling. Wasting my time...become obsessed about wanting to chat with him. Coming home early instead of hanging out with friends. This is stupid. I know, I know...yet what can I do? There is an image of him in my mind that I idolize and romanticize and somehow I've made him to become this fantasy...stupid shit. I know...

Ughh, thing is...he keeps leading me on. Or perhaps it's just me clinging on and reading too much into any nice thing that he does for me? Either way it's insane and I'm sure there are better ways to spend my time than this.

Idiot! Never learn...

lol

Dudes, seriously. This is an addiction. And trying to quit chatting with him is so difficult. Now I know what an addiction feels like. You start making excuses etc. You relapse...you hate yourself for relapsing...you have to pick up the pieces and try to start over again. You know...

lol

Silly, silly girl...