The blur that was last night

It was Em's birthday get-together last night (after a certain age, you don't call them parties anymore).

Happy 28th Birthday Em!

Last night was really good. First time since I've been back that it felt like I belonged. Maybe it was the drinks.

Didn't drink too much, didn't eat too much, didn't say too much. Just enough.

We talked about travels, religion urmm...and lots more I'm sure. Being the person that I am, was only tuned in when those issues circulated. It turned out that Em's boyfriend of a gazillion years was really into travelling too. He was also very interested in Malaysia and Buddhism. It was fun.

Our in-house travel agent Colleen was then asked the question, 'so what's the weirdest place you have ever sent anyone?'

I was kinda taken aback when she said - some weird rainforest in Borneo.

Urrmm...was sitting there thinking, what's so weird about Borneo? I'm from there!

When it finally became known that Malaysia was actually part of Borneo, people became interested. They were also impressed with my being in India. When they asked what I was doing there, in my most gung-ho voice I casually said - Oh, just backpacking. I could see that Em's boyfriend just died right then. He would probably really want to go to India. The small little problem is that Em is not the type and they are as good as married, so...sorry buddy. Not gonna happen anytime soon.

Another issue was that 2 of the people in attendence were married at one point about 3 years ago. You could feel the tension as soon as you put them two in the same room. They were surprisingly civil. He ended up teaching her to mambo at the end of the night. Why? That's what I said. Why did she go for it? She puzzles me, that one.

The fact that they were together and can now hangout is an inspiration to me. Right now there is no way I can imagine Jay and I ever sitting through one night without me becoming so tense I'd blow up into tiny bits. There is no way we can be friends again. No way. It simply cannot be done.

Last night I came home to an email from Jay. He made some snide remark about me not leaving him a butter knife? Earlier in the day, mum and I went over to pack some of my stuff. We left him 2 sets of forks and spoons but perhaps forgot the fucking butter knives. He had the balls to seriously get upset at me for the fucking butter knives. That was when I blew it.

The nerves of that guy. Then again he has always been the type to think that everyone owed him something. Should really not be surprised. I HATE him. Because of him, I will not trust a man again for a long, long time. Never again will I be so stupidly vulnerable. Men and women truly are from different planets.