Loss and Grief - The End!

Holy shite. Thank god today was the end of the loss and grief course. It was extremely intense and I was about at the end of my coping resources. They say that while undergoing counselling, clients should be warned to not make big decisions and be able to allow time for self- care. No kidding!

Anywho, remember when I told you guys about the ritual that we had to do for school? Yeah, very intense. Not just mine but everyone else's as well. Today one involved burning stuff so, yeah you can imagine.

Mine...hmm...

Mine basically involved crying. It wasn't so much a ritual to mark a loss rather it marked the beginning of letting go and grieving. I made my "weeping cups" that cried all the tears that I could not. In these cups were objects that brought back memories and whatnot. It was pretty emotional.

What did I learn from having gone through 3 weeks of hell? Lots.

Worden's Tasks of Mourning

Task 1 - Accepting the reality of the loss
Task 2 - Working through the pain of grief
Task 3 - Adjusting to the environment in which the deceased is no longer present
Task 4 - Emotionally making a place for the loss is one's current life

Where am I at according to this model?

There is some of me left in task 2, 3 and 4. Mostly task 4 where one is unable to withdraw emotionally from the loss and is still investing energy in it. Worden said that this task could possibly be the most difficult one to work through, I believe him. Letting go of the past and coming into your present is not easy when you're still hung up and not ready to let go.

I played 3 songs for my ritual and they were:

- I'm not ready to make nice (dixie chicks)
- Pictures ( Sheryl Crow)
- Out of reach (Gabrielle)

Pictures had a huge impact on me as it talked about shutting off emotions and finding other ways to fill the void. Men, alcohol, church etc. Anything that would work. The one by dixie chicks made me realize that I wasn't completely ready to let go - and that's okay too.

Umm, the weekend is here and I'm feeling pretty good. Visitors coming out this way so busy, busy. Next course is group counselling so I don't think it will be an emotionally intense one. Again, thank god.

Things are looking good, at least for a little while :) Hope they are for you too. Have a good weekend, guys!!