After 5 days of not sleeping nights, my head feels like it's about ready to explode. Thanks in part to depending on sleeping pills for the latter part of my trip. Excellent! Yesterday was the first day I forced myself to stay up all day. My effort lasted until 8pm. Then came the short lived blissful oblivion until 3am. Now this, a throbbing at the back of my skull.
Naturally, the thing most prominent in my mind is this. How the hell am I going to make this work?
For the longest time I've been driven by the philosophy that one should follow one's heart. Study what you want, go where you want, simply do what you want. Was it naive of me to put financial security in second place all this while? I think it was Kiyosaki who said that in order to make money your safety net has to be gone. Put yourself in the do or die situation.
Well, here I am! Hello! Now what?
Now don't get me wrong. It's not do or die in the most literal sense. My family will of course help me out but that's not the point. There are some things I can ask for from my parents but asking to borrow some money so I can live is not something I can do. Not at this age, not at this stage of life.
So this is my humble beginning. Some people do not understand why I work at crappy jobs when I've got a university degree. People might mistake this for a lack of ambition but to me it is a matter of survival. It was not important to me. All I had to do and wanted to do was make money so I could go on the road. A career was not what I was aiming for. You understand?
I suppose, for the most part, this post is to justify my thinking about taking on another less than ideal job. Survival jobs they call it. How fitting. For this time it is true. The money I have will only let me pay rent and eat for about a month and a half. Then nothing. I need a job before that reality stares me in the face. The day I am in debt to my credit card provider is a day I cannot live with.
It is with this justification that I am sending out a resume to my previous employer. Not the most recent one but the one before. Maybe the most recent one as well. Pride is not something I can afford right now.
3 comments:
More man fail because of the lack of purpose, rather than the lack of talent ~ billy sunday ~
Aint life now all about making money?
You've got my admiration as you seem to know what you want. That is to be on the road.
Something many of us would love to do but lack the guts to.
Good luck.
Sorry for stalking your blog =P
Err, no. Life is not all about making money. No, no, no, no, no. It is important but not all about it. I resent that.
Yeah, I suppose that I'll always wanna travel. Even with a full-time job and whatnot. But yeah man, if your hearts telling you something...listen to it.
About stalking my blog. What's the point of writing in the blog if it isn't to put it out there? Our thoughts, our dreams? Hoping that somewhere out there, there are people who understand :)
It sounds like you're going through a rough patch right now. Hang in there, time...give it time. It's all grist for the mill. All a process.
But much things nowadays depend on money.
Too many things.
Relationships themselves now are not completely genuine no more.
I hope you are able to stick to your dreams for some of us are unable to.
Well, would like to see how something this painful would prove to be beneficial later on.
Cheers
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