Blissing Out

I've just come back from doing a meditation retreat, something I have never done before. It was quite an amazing experience. I had an instant connection with the teacher/ nun. She used to live in Malaysia, believe it or not. In Penang.

For the 4 days we did not talk and fasted after 12pm. We slept on makeshift beds at 9pm and woke up at 5am everyday. The retreat was filled with bouts of sitting and walking meditation. When Ayya (the teacher) referred to retreat go-ers as "retreat junkies" I almost bowled over with laughter. She also says people mistakenly attend retreats with the purpose of "blissing out." Which I thought I was funny too because my experience was not one of bliss...at all. It was a lot of back ache, cramps in my legs and shifting around. I miss Ayya. Her smile which is at one time mischievous, at one time kind but she can be quick to reproach too. When she chanted her love for the Buddha, I cried.

So now it's back to life. Sensory overload for the first day but things are increasingly getting back to normal. I did learn though, I did.