Why?

Dear God,

Why? I know that people say your ways are beyond the comprehension of our feeble mind, but this is ridiculous. If you are indeed all knowing, all powerful - omnipotent, why would you create anything negative at all? So that we could learn things for ourselves? Why? Why not just make us happy and content from the beginning to the end? Not knowing any different would have left us happy. Why create dissatisfaction at all? So that we would appreciate the good times more? If we were always at the optimal level of happiness, then there isn't even a need for more of anything.

Dear God,

I have stopped believing in you somewhere between grade school and high school. During those formative years where things began getting difficult, when I learned to ask the questions you never answered. You are nothing but a figment of our imagination. Of the human race's inability to comprehend the world. An image of you is what we hold onto. Even as it is proven over and over again that you can't do squat for us, we make up excuses. Coz something, anything...is better than the ambiguity that scientists have yet to solve. I can bitch and rant about how you do not exist but being human i am gullible. At the back of my head, you will always be.

Dear God,

Tired is what I am right now. My mind has run its course today. You win again. Of course. You are all powerful. Even if you did exist, I voluntarily quit from you. I do not wish to be associated with someone or something that had allowed for all the injustices in the world. All the torture, all the pain, suffering. What is the lesson to be learned from all the people starving in the world? All the children for fucks sake. What are THEY supposed to learn when they weren't given a chance in the first place? Perhaps one could argue that the children were here to teach us all a lesson. To appreciate what we have. Is this some kind of a sick joke? Who are you to say that the lessons learned are worth the children suffering?

And what about people whose entire life is just one misery after the other? I'm not talking about some sorry ass person like myself who just feels sorry for herself all the time. I'm talking about people who are in real shit. Honest people who work hard raise their families and do the best that they can...why do they get crapped all over too? They live and die in crapiness. What's your all knowing opinion on that?

Please dont give me the whole psychobabble about how everything happens for a reason, there is a silver lining in every cloud...of course if you go look for it, you'll find it. You can believe anything you want yourself to.

The loving and caring god that we wish existed simply does not. There may be a god or super power of somesort out there but all loving -he/she/ it- is not.