Not isolated...not alone...detached. It doesn't feel like I know myself. It doesn't feel like I'm in control. Emotions overtaking my very being. That's what it feels like sometimes...
Going out partying doesn't help. Not that I have gone out partying that much these days, but just going out is sometimes so meaningless. Like I can't enjoy myself. What's up with that? Perhaps I'm looking too much into the future. I'm trying to live in the future. Living in my trip.
Perls said that worry/ anxiety and unhappiness comes when the mind leaves the here and now and lives in the fantasy future. Yeah, that makes sense to me.
Had one of the worst days at work today. It was horrible, the clients were screaming and just displaying a lot of unacceptable behaviours. It was HORRIBLE. Managed to calm them down after awhile but oh boy, so unpredictable sometimes.
Came home and was hoping to talk to my roommate. We talked but it seemed that she needed to talk as well so neither one of us were really listening. It was still nice though to be able to vent a little. But hmm...definitely need have a counsellor as well. Maybe I'll make an appointment with mine again soon. Things are again beginning to feel a lil bit out of control.
Good news, Lax who is the Indian friends going to India soon, she's planning on starting up a womens centre and making a documentary of sorts of her efforts. She wants me to help and be in the documentary? Interviewing her. OMG! So exciting! Very sweet!
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