The Hero
- typically the eldest child
- confidant of the parent
- knows most about what is happenning in the family
Coping mechanisms:
-become overachievers, superresponsible, perfectionists, workaholics
- may enter the helping profession to carry on with the caretaking role
Struggles:
- feelings of adequacy because they cannot fix the problem no matter how much they achieve
- burnout
The Scapegoat
- the problem child of the family who is always 'acting out'
- takes away the attention of the family to focus on the child
- feel distant from other siblings
- may be jealous of the hero's relationship with the parental dyad
Coping mechanisms:
- look outside the family for self-worth
- overvalue the peer group
- greatest risk of substance abuse if parent is/was an abuser
Struggles:
- anger control
- accepting authority
- keeping employmeny
- forming meaningful relationships
The Lost Child
- loners who never "need" attention
- never create a problem/ get into trouble
- not wanting to put more stress on the family system
Coping mechnisms:
- withdrawl/ become loners
- leave system to seek self-worth
- enters into a fantasy world to replace family (eg. tv, internet, reading, music)
- superindependent
- overly attached to posessions/ becoming materialistic
Struggles:
- blurred boundary between real and make believe
- feel unable to communicate effectively
- confusion regarding relationship with others
The Mascot
- youngest child/ baby of the family
- most protected position
- may not have idea of what is going on within the system
- commands centrestage with humour and fun
Coping mechanisms:
- uses humour to break up tension in the family/ create a distraction
- may do anything for a laugh
- hide behind the 'clown' role
Struggles:
- may be hyperactive
-self-anger and loneliness from not expressing true self
- not taken seriously by others
After the session yesterday, a classmate suggested that I read this section from a textbook we have. She commented that I was going through the 'Lost Child Syndrome' but being me, I was skeptical.
She was right, to a certain extent. In retrospect, I see in myself the hero and the lost child while my brother compensated with the other two roles.
As with everything dealing with human behaviour though, nothing will fit perfectly. But as model, a guideline, thins rings fairly true.
Reading this has left me with some questions.
Does this model work in families that are not dysfunctional?
Is there such a thing as the non-dysfunctional family?
Maybe the answer lies not in yes/ no, but rather in a scale of severity?
No comments:
Post a Comment